It isn’t often I see a new topic of discussion regarding Little House, but today was one of those rare days.
I have seen some discussion — not much — regarding the stoicism of the Ingalls family. Laura speaks of it in letters to her daughter Rose during the writing of the series, and even says that with such difficult situations, one had to be stoic to survive.
But I’m not sure I’ve ever heard anyone discuss to any extent the feelings of guilt and shame Laura feels throughout the series. Now, a counselor and mother discusses the Little House books from her perspective. I wish that she’d gone deeper into the issue of guilt and provided her thoughts on why Laura may have been like this, where those feelings of guilt may have stemmed from initially. (I see a lot of the same guilt feelings in Rose, for that matter.)
Read the discussion and come back here and share your thoughts on the issue! (Might I add I was finally glad to see a more balanced perspective of the Indians in Little House on the Prairie, recognizing the positives throughout the book along with the negatives.)
Didn’t you feel that way when you were a kid? I did, and I don’t think I’m so unusual. We all want things to suit us, and “rebel” when they don’t, then feel “guilty” for the rebelling…as CurrentMom points out, it’s what is done with the feelings that counts. I think we mostly outgrow it as we become independent. (Aside: There is new research into the process of grieving that indicates today’s methods of “dealing” with it often produce longer and much worse feelings of grief than what would ordinarily be considered “normal.” Mostly the phrase “s* happens” pretty much sums up the healthiest attitude.) As you know, any good author will use the emotions of their characters to draw feelings of empathy from their readers; it’s what makes us feel connected to them. Laura (or Rose, if you’re on that side of the debate) was a good author.
Regarding the Indians, I have often wondered if Ma DID have some previous experience with them that colored her perceptions. Anyone know anything about that? Did she grow up near a massacre or something, or was it truly just the stories she heard?
Interesting post. I agree with your comment about seeing the guilty feelings in Rose. I think the book Laura often thinks things because the adult writing the books is trying to make a point. I’m thinking of the “Lazy lousy Liza Jane” incident where Laura feels like the cup and platter of the Bible – clean on the outside, but dirty inside. Adult Laura knows making fun of the teacher is wrong.
I think the Ingalls took seriously the idea that the sins of the heart from Matthew 5. So that Laura might not have slapped Nellie, but she knew inside she so would like to do so. Then she was guilty of it. I’m not sure where I stand on this. No, she didn’t outwardly disobey/flaunt rules, but at the same time I think we do have to take responsibility for our thoughts.
In passing, she really does seem to have a lot of guilt for not sleeping in a tightly laced corset like “nice girls/women.” It’s to bad that we can never know some of Caroline’s thoughts or actions since I’m sure they had an effect on Laura.
(Side note: Anyone wonder if the poem ever occured to Laura as an adult after a difficult conversation with her SIL?)
Interesting, but we also have to separate our 21st century mindset and not project so much onto them.
I think they knew life was hard and it was up to them to make the best of it.
I was actually thinking something along these lines just yesterday. Actually I was thinking about how angry and impatient I am with my kids and how Ma was eternally patient and soft spoken, wondering why I can’t be more like Ma. But then I thought how was Ma able to enforce rules with her kids just sitting there patiently sighing and spouting platitudes? It must have been that the kids themselve were willing to be led by what she had to say. I think Laura is only spanked once in the books, and doubt that the others were ever spanked. So maybe Ma controlled the girls through guilt that was instilled early and deeply? Unfortunately my girls don’t seem to do guilt.
I’m curious- where did you get the reference to Laura feeling guilty for not sleeping in a corset? Is this an actual occurrence, or did I miss a metaphor?